Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The MS Paint Adventures Suggestion Box
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Some notes:
- Keep it short! I tend to clip all suggestions to be about 60 characters or less.
- Maybe this is obvious, but only make suggestions for the latest point in the story! Posting the suggestion "shoot safe" when I am 800 pages past that point doesn't make the slightest bit of sense!
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11,545 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1801 – 2000 of 11545 Newer› Newest»Elf Wizard: Cast Dimensional Anchor to stop everyone from being crushed by a tiny massive thug.
Bees: Collect DMK's tears.
DMMK: BATTLE TECHNIQUE -> EXTORTION
DMMK: KEEP TIGHTENING IT!
All: agress
Hereoes + NB + HD + Gentlemen + Whores: AGGRESS!!!
DMMK: Reverse Polarity
All: agress!!
Heroes + NB + HD + Gentlemen + Whores + DMMK: Katamari Damacy!
Gentlemen + 4 Heroes + NB + HD + Whores: Agress.
HD: Grab the TEDDY BEAR and attempt (in vain) to stab DMMK.
Wait, why can we see DMMK? Dark matter cannot interact with the electromagnetic force, and thus we can't see any photons that hit him.
Andrew, the nerds will be furious.
Dollhouse: Collapse.
GRAVITY DANCE!
DMMK: go take a flying f*** at a rolling donut
Whores: Remember your training! MANA-POWERED JUMPING CROTCH-FIRST and without PANTIES.
Short Gentleman: Eat DMMK.
PI: Aim at CLOCK FACE and see what happens.
"Wait, why can we see DMMK? Dark matter cannot interact with the electromagnetic force, and thus we can't see any photons that hit him.
Andrew, the nerds will be furious."
Everyone knows that dark matter is purple and glows a lot.
Weasel Hero: Flip the fuck out like nobody's business.
Everyone in the room with DMMK: Try to tighter DMMK's corset so much he becomes infinitely small, or at least so small that he falls out of the universe in a higher-dimensional direction.
I second the Katamari suggestion.
Heroes: COMB RAVE -> FORM VOLTRON
For fuck's sake, someone loosen DMMK's girdle!
DMMK: COMBAT OPERANDI > BLACK HOLE SUCK FEST
AD: Go hunting.
DMMK: COMBAT OPERANDI > Black Hole
Whores: Give MK a quick touch of makeup. A little powder should do the trick, and 'lighten' his complexion a little.
Clown: Play a haunting tune on your lute
Reader:Wonder why the ship,GPI, and DMK aren't getting pulled in the gravitational pull of MK
ZAD: Attempt a polite introduction
Gentlemen: Ogle the whores with your GENTLEMANLY GLOWER.
Ladies: Pull DMMK's brassire even tighter.
All: Go back to when Problem Sleuth was frustrating and funny
4 Heroes: Reverse DMMK's polarity
4 Heroes: Escort whores to safety
NB: 'Give' the teddy bear to the angry purple little man.
FAD: Death is clearly scared of you, demand your life back in a rough thuggish type of way.
DMMK: BATTLE TECHNIQUE -> KATAMARI DAMN-THE-WHORES
HD + NB: Combat Operandi- Money Laundering (to machine-wash DMMK, despite the corset being clearly marked "Dry Clean Only")
PI: Aim the cannon at DMMK
DMMK: Accidentally create a black hole
DMMK: Realize that Mexican food and a tightly compacted stomach do not mix well.
Nerds: Praise Andrew Hussie for explaining why DMMK glows purple.
Clown Bard: Serenade DMMK with some music.
Everyone: Leave the god damn building.
PS: Reap the rewards of a hardy breakfast.
AD: Rename Bathearst "[expletive], Bathearst" to assure amusing status messages in the event that any ailment should befall him.
Everyone around DMMK: Yell, "This sucks!" for the sake of irony.
Author: Next.
Somebody: Throw the cord at DMMK in hopes that his immense mass will shorten it and speed up the current.
HD: Remove Scale Bodice, flip it inside-out, and tighten it like you've never tightened it before!
PS: While you're doing nothing, point at DMK in a bewildered and cliche fashion and shout "GODZILLA!" and flee below deck.
Weasel Warrior: Flip the fuck out while getting sucked into gravitational field
Nerd Viewers: Argue with AH about DMMK actually being Dark Matter Fiesta Mobster Kingpin to complicate things much further.
(in response to Aggress foppishly) Ah: Profess ultimate win for Gilbert and Sullivan reference.
FMK: Tighten strings even more, sacrificing himself to form a black hole and... speed up the speed of light I guess? Maybe?
AD+Bathearst: Contact Hiram the Blacksmith about getting your horses shod.
GPI: Develop homoerotic interest in astral fan.
Heroes: Flip the fuck out.
Whores: Aggress!!!
Heroes: Show stats
Elf Mage: Cast a bubble of eternity around DMMK to keep him from sucking the universe in with his gravitation.
GPI: Fondly regard formation
use anti-backwards energy crystal to render darkmatter inert again
PAD & BH: Change pace to strenuous
Elf Mage: Use warp on DMMK.
HD: Find out what happens when a giant woman steps on dark matter.
Churlish Toff: COMBAT OPERANDI -> BELLY OF THE WHALE
DMK: Realise what you have done to this world and pray GPI for forgiveness.
Whore 1: Eat a magnet
PI: conjure candy moon/planet/sun. We need gravitational pover enought big to fight against DMMK!
DMMK: Implode and become a small black hole.
Remove Hat.
Bathearst: Screw this old-school Oregon trail bullshit. Use your HEARSTILITY BELT to summon the HEARSTMOBILE and the HEARSTJET!
DMMK: Spontaneously loosen brassier.
DMMK: COMBAT OPERANDI -> IMPLOSION
GPI: Fondly regard cremation
PI: Set sights on dollhouse in hopes of hitting DMMK.
AD+BATHEARST: become trapped by snowstorm in Donner Pass.
PFPI: Due to your perceived penchant for cooling things off, replace the wire in the cord with Bose-Einstein condensate Rubidium Red Licorice strands, thus locally slowing the speed of light to about 10km/h AND nearly eliminating resistance.
Professor Bee: Shed a tear of liquid honey in awe of the raw science above.
Yeah, so whatever happened to MOBSTER KINGPIN bust?
HD: Fall through corset.
HD: Locate the gravity area of the Gutterpipe Projects.
HD: Turn mass crank.
Clown Bard: Uses DMMK's own gravity to accelerate your foot... into his stones (to establish superiority)
DMMK: Tighten brassier again, hopefully ending several extraneous side quests at once.
check status of bust smuggling ship
FAD: Ponder any irony that can be found in this situation.
Whores: Combat Operandi > Nebula Star Gravity Crunch!
PS: Locate some booze, enter fort and join battle as imaginary self.
You know. So sepulcritude marely makes him slightly sick. He does have an imaginary life left, correct?
Weasel Hero: Cut corset strings on DMMK with SWORD.
elf wizard hero: cast reverse gravity on DMMK, causing him to explode.
Throw things at DMMK, using the extra gravitational momentum to litter his face with craters.
NB+HD: You have Corsets too don't you? well tighten them things!
DMMK: Realize that dark matter doesn't interact in any way with normal matter other than gravity. If he destroys the others with this, he must also destroy himself, and there are too many banks left to heist to waste his life on this!
Weasel Hero: Cut the drawstrings of DMMK's corset.
Heroes + Gentlemen + Whores + HD + NB: AGGRESS because this gravity shit is really annoying.
Whore:
Punch DMMK in snout to establish authority.
DMMK: COMBAT OPERANDI - Anti-Matter Clownstrike
Elf Mage: Summon Ifrit.
Ifrit: Throw a huge meteor at DMMK.
DMMK: Tighten strings of corset even further.
DMMK: Collapse to tiny supermassive black hole and AUTO-PARRY! meteor.
AH: Render exhaustingly long animated scene with ginormously cool special effects and the latest of 3D-animation-techniques.
AH: Realize how long this would take and instead copy+paste something together and animate the background rapidly.
DMMK: merge with DMK to become Ultimate Demonic Dark Matter Feista Mobster Kingpin (UDDMFMK).
I understand how DMMK's volume is decreasing, but how is his mass increasing? Shouldn't the Gravity Brassier just change volume and proportionally change density?
Elf Wizard: Cast Reverse Gravity
Whores: Engage Terrible Trio: Busty Brawler.
No, it changes his mass separate of his volume (there are two sets of strings). Thus, the corset gives the wearer to change his density.
Bathearst: Hunt for buffalo.
Snake: Bite Bathearst.
AD: Treat BATHEARST for venomous snake bites using the VIAL OF ANTIVENOM.
PS: Order Lieutenant Worf to sing along. Then stabilise the thrusters.
Go the the desk drawer, retreive arms made of GUNS and JUSTICE.
AD: Caulk the wagon and float it!
GPI: Fondly regard animation
GPI: Try to get HD to notice you by increasing the speed of light, making the journey of the electricity in the fan cord take about 30 minutes
PI: Polish barrel of rifle to a blinding sheen.
NB+HD+Heroes+Whores+Gentlemen: Form a party, and turn-based RPG-style fight DMMK!
GPI: Fondly decrease the Universal Gravitational Constant for your viewing pleasure.
SNOOP DOGG CANDY MECHA: PEANUT M&M-ACHINE GUN
DMMK: Too show off your badassitude, tighten your drawstrings, and explode into a supernova.
AH: Completely ignore all requests to remain faithful to the laws of Physics.
heroes and co.: OH SHI-
Everyone around DMMK: Put buttered toast on a cat to make ANTI-GRAVITY CAT
Weasel Knight: Cut corset drawstrings.
GPI: Fondly Regard DMMK
DMMK goes pop, and returns to FMK just as the crowd touches him
How about an inventory recap?
FAD: Offer to help Death making a new Scythe (using his strength to help him in doing so) in exchange to get his life back.
Whores: CARESS
DMMK+Those in his immediate surroundings: Morph together to become some kind of beast who is too awesome to be named by a lowly mortal like myself (known as SKOBWITATBNBALMLM from now on)
AD: Using wagon, make a fort.
G-M:Wonder why this has turned into more of a comic than an "adventure"
Weasel hero: Just cut the strings on the front of DMMK's corset.
Weasel Warrior: Stab DMMK in the face
Whores: Agress.
GPI: Fondly regard LIFE (the game)
Gentlemen: court whores
FMK: COMPRESS
NB: DISTRESS
HD: OUTDRESS
Wounds: ABSCESS
PS: ...ASSESS?
Cannon: RECESS
AS: OBSESS, then DEPRESS
Andrew Hussie: DIGRESS
Clown: Play a tune on your banjo.
Warriors: Cut off MK's woman's undergarment.
DMMK: Combat Operandi: Gravitational Singularity
Anonymous: Don't you mean.... UNDRESS?
Hookers, Gentlemen, heroes, HD, and NB: Grab DMMK's drawstrings and pull until he implodes into himself, creating a wormhole to another universe.
Gentlemen: Agress with your SNUFFBOX, SMOKING PIPE, and CIGARETTE HOLDER.
ZAD: Bite and infect the giant whale.
AD: COMBAT OPERANDI: Check Yo'self Jonah
FAD and MM: Take advantage of Death's cowardice to stage a grand escape.
DMK: Bump the boat to notify the guys that you're still there.
Weasel Warrior: Let go of sword so Gravity stabs DDMK.
GPI: Ride DMMK like a mechanical bull.
PS: Enter inside the ship
Bard: DO SOMETHING ALREADY!
Clown Bard: Lull DMMK to sleep with a haunting melody from your lute!
Go kick in some criminal shite. Then do a victory stripper dance.
FAD: Burst out of DMMK's stomach (via the mouth of course, an Alien-esque death is much too easy) because he is tiny and you are not
GPI: Fondly regard hyper-gravitation.
Four Heroes: Throw weapons in air, allowing them to be caught in FMMB enormous gravitational pull, thus stabbing him, potentially ripping a hole in space time.
Heroes: Drastically loosen DMMK's woman's undergarment
DMMK: Belly of the Whale
GPI: Repair the laws of physics that DMMK has broken.
(Dark Matter is invisble,
Gravity: http://physics.about.com/od/classicalmechanics/a/gravity.htm
Aka, his gravitational pull is actually less now.)
AD: Begin your long, probably suicidal treck west, and for the sheer joy of it go to the big ol landmark.
Bathearst: die of dysentery
DMMK: COMBAT OPERANDI -> LV. 12 PHOTINO BURST
Professor Bee: Use your amazing intelect to disprove Einstien and allow the electricity in the cord to exceed the speed of light.
HD: Loosen your corset until you're large enough so that your gravity exceeds DMMK.
GPI: Fondly regard cremation
Four Heros: Cast, play, and fight with everything you've got.
Weasel Warrior: Cut strings on DMMK's brassier
bathearst: drink cholera infested water
DMMK: Tighten MASS CORSET more to become ANTI-MATTER MOBSTER KINGPIN.
AMMK: Explode.
Bathearst: Die of dyssentery
Picky Nerd: Wonder how DMK can see the drama happening when it is on microscopic scale on GPI's flower.
FAD: Offer MM a dirty sanchez.
"Picky Nerd: Wonder how DMK can see the drama happening when it is on microscopic scale on GPI's flower."
Actually the game of Life is taking place on a microscopic scale on top of his HAT.
So naturally, he would have no trouble seeing it whatsoever.
GROW ARMS
PS: COMBAT OPERANDI -> ARMISTYX
*corpse of Bathearst arrives to the battlefield*
PS and PI: Keep plugging away, it's not like you're doing anything else useful.
AD: Commit suicide. You have nothing left.
PI: Shoot bust anyway.
AD: die cold and alone of dysentery
AD: Mourn.
AD: While you're at it, craft a shitty-looking imaginary gravestone.
NOW! FINALLY! SEPULCHRITUDE!
AD: Ride OX like MECHANICAL BULL.
Bathearst: When meeting death, beat him in the game of "Rock, bag, scissors" and return to the game. Actually, wifehearst should also have a game with wimpy death and talk her way through winning it, also returning to AD.
(But don't let the return of these characters bring down DMKs emo meter...)
PI: Keep up the heavy shelling of DMK with that cannon!
Man, if only DMK could see the episode of Futurama with Fry's dog (Jurassic Bark), that's the most emotional episode of anything in television history. Seriously.
AD: The loss of your whole family has snapped your brittle mind. Something must pay for this injustice.
AD: Fall to knees,look up, reach to sky, scream nooooo!
Camera: Zoom out, wide angle!
PS: Feed DMK's many mouths cupcakes filled with oestrogen.
Bathearst: Cheat DEATH, because you're the God-head Pickle Inspector damned BATHEARST
AD: Take a moment to mourn the loss of dear BATHEARST, remembering the times shared together in a heart-wrenching montage; driving DMK's EMOTIONS through the roof.
(Also, it is of this reader's opinion that you are a horrible horrible person for killing off the adorable little Batman peg.)
PFPI: shame of a thousand bed wetting children on DMK to make him think it was his fault bathearst drowned.
PI: Play a Violin to push DMK's emotions through the roof.
(P)AD: Hardboiledly quote In Memoriam A.H.H. section 1, "I held it truth..."
AD: Meet Native Americans selling traditional Native American water wings, in tragic irony.
AD: Truffle Shuffle in memory of Bathearst
AD: As he watches all that matters in his Life™ being whisked away by the poorly animated current, he realizes that he doesn't actually exist, because he is no more than a feebly imagined female counterpart of the actual Ace Dick, and thus collapses into an unfathomably miserable state of despair.
AD: Contract Syphilis
Bees: Collect DMK's tears for the secret weapon upgrade
AD: Drop to your knees and in a frenzied rage curse to the heavens! Also do something about that bullet in your gut won't you?
PAD: Jump into the river to save bathearst.
Bathearst: Miraculously be saved by a passing Buffalo, only to be eaten by a savage pack of wolves.
AD: build lonely desert grave and mourn for Bathearst.
Leave his cape flapping in the wind, a reminder to other travellers of the cruelty of the world.
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