Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Need for the Steed

Exactly one year ago, I purchased a painting of a horse.

I chronicled this remarkable tale in my old blog. I repost the major excerpts from this adventure here today for posterity.

------


Posted 12/17/2007
“Fundraiser 07-08: Need for the Steed”


A lot of webmasters such as bloggers or webcomic authors have fundraisers from time to time. It’s usually for something like a new computer (they are upgrading so they can better bring YOU content. How benevolent!), or some other piece of electronic equipment, or maybe even a medical procedure.

This practice is of course self-indulgent bullshit. If you need money for something, go get a job and save the money yourself. Shaking coins from your readership like a piggybank at the threat of suspended content or hiatus is a crass move indeed.

Unless you have a really good reason, that is. Like me.

Today I am launching a bold fundraising campaign, “Fundraiser 07-08: Need for the Steed”, to obtain the monies necessary to purchase this incredible painting.



A while ago I discovered this artist simply named “T”. I was instantly smitten.

I “reviewed” (i.e. fawned over) the work at an earlier date. I have supplied an excerpt from this review here.

Everything about this painting is fucking amazing. Oakland Raiders linebacker Bill Romanowski fending off a wild, flaming black steed, in a mystical snowcapped mountain setting. I don’t know if it’s the concept alone, which itself is obviously mind-blowing. Maybe it’s also the curious, vaguely-humanoid musculature of the horse. It has a man’s bicep and triceps, and some very suspiciously man-like back muscles. Or maybe it’s the flaming mane, which on closer inspection, doesn’t resemble flame so much as synthetic orange puppet hair. This steed is either from hell, or has recently escaped Fraggle Rock, and is ready to tear the entire NFL a new asshole. But he didn’t count on bumping into Bill Romo (understandably, since he was bucking around the middle of the damned Himalayas).

I wrote that several years ago, and before I catch myself extolling the grandeur of the painterly genius of “T” again, I’ll just get to the point. A couple years ago around the same time of year, a little before Christmas, I wrote “T” an email offering to purchase the painting. In addition to gushing about his work with strategically vapid and obsequious prose, I offered him $50 for it. This offer was more than fair, I thought. He however declined, saying he simply could not accept any less than $400 for it.

Ok, so obviously I thought this guy was out of his fucking mind, turning down good money of any quantity for this ugly piece of shit. But that was probably just the anger of rejection talking. I would get over it.

Recently, I offered to buy the painting again, hoping he might have forgotten about his hard-line stance and come to terms with the unsellability of his putrid work (oops, there I go again with the bitterness. I have good reason again though.) I was prepared to offer another $50, maybe go a little higher if necessary. It’s turning into a kind of Christmas tradition. This is how all of the finest holiday traditions begin, I think. Through hostile adherence to something pointless and mildly excruciating.

This is how the latest interaction went down. Here’s the pitch I opened with:

———–
Hello,

I am writing you in regard to this beautiful painting
listed on your website. [link to painting]

Would you consider selling this?

A long time ago I wrote you on the same subject, but
it seemed the paintings were unavailable if I recall.

I am hoping they may be available now! What would you
charge for the above piece?

Thank you for your time.
———–

Personally I think it was a pretty well composed pitch. The tone is right, and I think I tailored my demeanor to seem just convincingly stupid enough to genuinely like this retarded painting (which I do!). Notice how I downplayed his vicious prior obstinacy by referring to the paintings as “unavailable if I recall”. Master stroke. Also I didn’t come out firing with a dollar figure, mainly because I didn’t want to scare him off right away. I needed to ease him into the fact that I am still only willing to part with $50 for this abomination.

Anyway, this was his reply.

———–
Hey Andrew,

Thanks for checking back. I do have a price on the painting it is $425. A few people have e-mailed me about buying it for less, but I would rather just hang on to it. I like the piece a lot and haven’t painted anything since it. It was to be the first in a series of sports fantasy paintings, but I have gotten side tracked with my job and other family things so I haven’t started painting again. I will get back to it soon. So, if you want it for the $425 it is yours, if not, I will keep it on my wall.

Thank you
T
———–

I grope for language to describe my reaction. Nay, a single word.

LIVIDITY.

$425?? So it seems he actually raised the price over the years. Oh, and PARDON my skepticism at the implication that he has received other offers over the years for his idiotic shit. He is probably only vaguely recollecting the ONE time it happened. From ME.

Naturally, I swallowed my indignation like the bitch I am. I just need that painting, and obviously it’s going to take more fancy footwork to pry it from his grubby, miserly hands. I responded, and this was my first sentence.

Wow, it is very cool that it is still for sale! I would
really love to have it.

Notice how easily I slip back into character. Whatever obscure pocket of personal acumen this is, I seem to possess it in spades. I probably could have been one of those spies who entrenches himself in Russian territory, uncovering intelligence on nuclear sites. Except instead of nukes, I would be disarming the Russian aristocracy of all their shitty paintings of horses, and vanishing with them into the night.

$425 is a lot of money for me. But I think your work
is good and you deserve to be compensated well for it.

If his heart wasn’t made of stone, it would melt at this line. I am playing up to his megalomaniacal belief that his work actually has value, combined with voicing a sad state of affairs for myself, like I am a charity case. For all he knows, I’m like Tiny Tim with a crutch, holding up my tin bowl, and instead of asking for gruel, saying, “Could I please ‘ave a paintin’ sir, preferably an NFL-star-battling-horse themed one, sir?” These sentiments would tickle any artist starved for positive feedback for his ghastly work, assuming he wasn’t totally deranged. Unfortunately, his heart is made of stone, and he is deranged.

I went on in that reply, trying to strike up a deal, but he didn’t respond. I was prepared to dish out more toadying remarks, too, like seriously encouraging him to take up painting again, and saying I would love to see him continue his series of sports fantasy paintings. This has the added bonus of being true. How about Terrel Owens putting a unicorn in a headlock while forging through an enchanted jungle? Or star kicker Adam Vinatieri kicking an ogre in the groin near a dark wizard’s castle? Or quarterback Tom Brady kissing a male elf atop a bubbling volcano? This series would be fucking dynamite, and I’d love to own the whole set (as long as I didn’t have to sell my kidneys for it).

Anyway, if I want this painting, obviously the only thing I can do is pay the full price for it. And I think you will agree, it would be ridiculous for me to spend that much of my own money on it.

That’s where YOU come in!

So pony up with the donations guys, and soon you will enjoy the vicarious delights of owning a completely unique work of art, through me!

If you donate, I will do something for you. I’m not really sure what yet. It depends on the size of the donation. If it’s only like $5 or $10, I might just write you a detailed thank you note. Maybe I will email you a custom sketch or a comic too, we’ll see. If you make a bigger donation, like $50, you can feel free to be more demanding with my time, like tell me to draw you a comic and mail it to you. I don’t know, but I’ll make it worth your while. Come on guys, let’s work on this together!

Of course the biggest reward is the giving itself, and knowing you are contributing to a cause much more worthwhile than something lame like upgrading my computer. YAWN!

The donation thermometer is ready to skyrocket!



Caveats and provisos: In the event that there are some donations, but the target is not reached, I reserve the right to spend the donations on whatever I want. Like dinners at the Olive Garden. I also reserve this right should the target be reached, but I no longer really feel like buying the painting.


------

So as you can see from the above “progress bar” graphic, the donation figure steadily climbed to $145. This was very promising, but it was still a long way off the mark, and I was beginning to suspect I would fall short. I was already contemplating the succession of succulent Olive Garden feasts I would be using that money to finance. The kaleidoscope of savory Mediterranean flavors had begun to work its powers of affordable, family-dining hypnosis on me.

But not so fast.

Early in January of the following year, this is what happened.

------



Posted 01/07/2008
"WE FUCKING DID IT!"


Ladies and gentlemen…

VICTORY.

TLDR - Yesterday, two incredible guys, both named Paul, independently of each other donated the full remainder needed to buy the painting. Yeah, you may want to read the story. It’s fucking epic.

How was this feat possible? Needless to say, the magnificent achievement’s brick and mortar was the charitable will and good grace of you, the readers. Alas, noble though your efforts were, they were not enough. Standing on your shoulders, I only reached halfway up the wall, a far cry from being allowed to glimpse the pleasure gardens of painterly depictions of unbridled equine savagery waged against professional sports legends.

It’s at this point in the story which I smile and tap my pipe on the heel of my shoe. My gaze becomes abstracted, my eyes shimmer. I am no longer with you.

I am crumpled under the barstools of an unaccountable dive somewhere. I marinate in puddles of liquids to which I myself contributed not moments ago. I mumble incoherently with my lips around something—I think, and pray, it is a bottle. Slurred words wander from the drowsy orifice, and occasionally stumble from a runny nostril. “Horse”, was it? “Romanowski”, did I say? If the other disinterested patrons of the bar strained to listen, they might have made out the phrase “epic mountaintop struggle” as well.

I thrash. My delirious convulsions become more pronounced. Feverish visions pester me, like an overzealous carnival employee lurking, poised to frighten in a shoddy haunted house. My breathing is heavy. “No… horse…” I say. “I can’t… linebacker…” I wheeze. At once I sit upright, and shout, “I will never own that painting of a horse attacking a champion of the gridiron!!!”

There was a voice. A rich, amber-throated sort of vocal honey.

“Yes you will.”

My eyes find a pair of shoes. Cream-colored, polished like the ivory bust of an African prince, presented as a gift to European royalty. Draped over them, cuffs belonging to pants, also cream-colored and well pressed. I look up. And up. This man had no end! His elegant form broadened as it ascended, and was stopped, nay, commanded to halt by a pair of shoulders so sturdy, a banquet for a devout Catholic family of fifteen could be served on each, and the settings would not jostle an inch while a pious, severe grace was conducted by the patriarch. Hanging on these shoulders was a coat of immaculate cut, and a slightly different cream color. Other colors of cream accented his tie, shirt, and kerchief, and above all those was a bronze, manly face. His smile was wide and serene, his eyes winter blue, deep with kindness. He wore a cream-colored hat.

The room hushed. Somewhere a utensil fell onto a piece of glass or ceramic. Everyone knew.

It was Paul Elsewho.

“But… but sir. I can’t buy it. I haven’t the monetary discretion for the painting.” It was the sniveling blither indigenous to the tongue of the truly pathetic.

“You do now,” the man said, clicking a ball point pen, which now busied itself above a checkbook. “You can and you will buy that painting of a steed grappling with an Oakland-area athlete.”

The words resonated from his amber throat. I knew any words from it would be true. He handed me the check for $155 United States dollars.

Even though I know in my heart the assurance of this man stretches further than that of the U.S. Treasury for the merit of the currency he gives me, my craven mouth cannot help but persist in its loathsome habits of doubt. “But sir… what if it’s still not enough?”

That’s when the door exploded off its hinges, as if punched inward by the searing daylight. The light was then blocked by another imposing form, its silhouette boasting the contours of an exquisite physique. “That’s where I come in,” boomed the rugged, gravelly voice.

I clutched the garb of Paul E. and hid behind his confident frame. I quivered like a reprehensible bit of cowardly gelatin. Through the tears, I saw who it was. Everyone did. It was the legendary Paul W.

He tossed his scarf over one shoulder. The tables in the room lifted an inch off the ground with each astonishing footstep. The bartender hid. Paul dropped a sack full of valuables, which made a noise like a gypsy’s cart smashing into a brick wall. Printed on the bag was “$155”. As I opened the bag, a gleam of golden yellow illuminated my wonder-stricken face.

The mighty Paul W. caressed his stubble thoughtfully while giving me a stern look. The corner of his mouth turned upward, ever so slightly, and he winked. “Yeah, that oughta do you just fine,” he said. A man in a bowler cap sitting in a dingy corner must have rubbed him the wrong way at that moment. Paul W. turned to the man and, with a ferocity in his eyes typically recalled only by dead lion tamers, said, “What the fuck are you looking at?” The man’s head exploded.

Yes, the other Paul was right. It did oughta do me. It did oughta do me just fine. These two noble, charitable, magnificent men entered my life and changed everything. They asked for nothing in return. Indeed, what does one give the man who has everything, and everything to give? These two radiant titans of masculine virtue, they are perfect. They are gracious perfection itself. I feel emboldened as I am flanked by my two Pauls, my saviors of brawn, my dapper hulks of sapient mettle. I can do anything with my Pauls. My arms interlock with theirs, and together we spin pinwheels into the night. Spinning, spinning, laughing, and spinning.

I speak to you as a man who has had his faith in humanity not merely restored, not merely gutted, refitted with high-end parts and refurbished, but as a man who has had humanity itself, in the form of two exquisite Pauls, invest its faith in me.

I speak to you as a man who has just purchased a painting of an orange-haired pony flicking its hooves at a strapping pigskin warrior.

I speak to you—

VICTORIOUS.


------

I promptly took the money and ran like the black-sinewed, scarlet-maned wind. I ran to T’s Paypal page and bought his astonishing work of art.

All that was left to do was for me to sit back and wait for my painting to come in the mail.

And sit back and wait for my painting to come in the mail I did.

And come in the mail it did.

------



Posted 01/18/08
"Total Victory"





If you’ve followed me on this journey, from the harrowing setbacks at the start, to the stunning success of the fund raiser and ultimate validation of all that is right with humanity, then you know how important this day is.

This is a victory not for me, but for us all. It is a spirited, flaming-maned buck against the petulant voice which tells us our dreams can’t come true, and we are just wasting our time.

Dreams do come true. Your wildest wishes can happen. Magic is real. Fairytales are sobering nonfiction, and your bravest fancies are a rock-fucking-solid lock. Hold fast to your dreams and soon you will hold them over your head like the beating, dripping heart of the enemy commander.

When one commits his entire being to an idea or an outcome, never relenting or wavering, he cannot be stopped. It is not a matter of stating firmly, “One day, I will have that painting.” It is a matter of stating, and believing, “That painting is already mine. The momentary separation between myself and the painting is incidental to the reality, and of no consequence.” When one compresses all his drive and concentration onto the head of a pin for one goal, it can no longer be considered a goal. It is a conclusion manifest in the furling parchments of reality itself.

So I urge you to celebrate this victory with me. The road was long and rocky, the potholes numerous. But in retrospect, any perceived suspense was merely destiny’s sleight of hand!












AND SO ON

223 comments:

1 – 200 of 223   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

I've been moved to tears.

Anonymous said...

I've been moved to tears also..

Such a epic story, such a quest for such a noble painting of such a noble steed.

Anonymous said...

How's that for a slice of fried horse?
Certainly wins the award for a most magnificent pieece of artscrement.

Anonymous said...

I only wish that I could have witnessed the splendor of these dieties, Paul and Paul. This tale of their radiance shines through the internet and warms my mortal soul.

Too bad you never got any Olive Garden.

Anonymous said...

i think anrew husse is a pretty cool guy. he gets horse and doesn't afraid of ANYTHING.

DrDinosaur said...

I think Andrew Hussie is a pretty cool guy too, but I have the decency to express it in a readable, grammatically correct fashion.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sweet Tittyfucking Christ. That painting... Words cannot express its majesty. I shall make a pilgrimage. I shall kneel before it; and I shall worship...

Anonymous said...

re: that:

see http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Pretty_cool_guy.

it's a meme. wrot doesn't quite follow it because he actually spells "he" correctly.

Unknown said...

Indeed a triumph of the human spirit. Nice to know AH is a Perry Bible Fellowship fan

Anonymous said...

Why the FUCK did I just read through that goddamned fucked up adventure. What a waste of my valuable time that could be better spent sitting on my ass staring at a blank wall. Curse the hypnotic writing styles that were at work here. That's it, I'm boycotting this site. Just after this next comic.

Anonymous said...

this is quite an epic and dramatic tale you tell us... a tale of wishes dreams despondency esperance and final absolute and grand voctory over the dream-shattering and avaricious society of fantasy-vs.-sports-drawers by some very nice and self-sacrificing cream-colored and hard-boiled man... some gracious Samaritans in our horse-sports-fiction costly world...

I think i will report my kids about this tale before the bedhour... They will sleep tight and maybe dream of an epic batlle between a flaming horse and Romanowski.

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of that unicorn painting from the Simpsons episode where Marge paints mister Burns nude ... or of this http://www.faithmouse.com/Barack_Obama_Victory_Print.html

Anonymous said...

This has nothing to do with your blog, but if you make a nervous broad shirt, I promise I WILL buy one. I need one. Now. :) Please?

Anonymous said...

AH: Attept to pee through the eyes of the painting.

Anonymous said...

*Attempt

Dammit.

Anonymous said...

What a touching tale... Love, Sorrow, Loss, Gain, Bill Romo, A Fraggle Rock Horse from Hell, and VICTORY!... So touching. This story has everything!

Also, could you provide a link to T's gallery?

Anonymous said...

could you commission T to do paintings of NFL Hall of Famers? I'm a bit of a football honk. I love the game's history and the passion with which it is played. I thought a portrait of Deacon Jones giving a dinosaur a two finger eye-gouge (three stooges style) on a BINGO card would be nice. The dinosaur represents that Deacon played in the past. The eye-gouge symbolizes the not-to-modern combat inherent in the game. And finally the BINGO card would symbolize the stategy of football.
I'm not sure what dinosaur would be right for the painting, but i have no reservations that T would know what to do.
I too will put up $50 CDN of my own money to own this portrait-

much love- fatman

Unknown said...

Andrew Hussie.
I almost cried just now.
Oh, who am I kidding?!
There's tears all over my screen, and I can't get them off fast enough as I am producing them.
Even if I had the fastest windshield(computer screen) wipers in the world, they wouldn't work because they would have to go so fast that they would just fly away.
Way to go man.
Way to go.

Anonymous said...

I think i came.

you should go on Oprah with this tale of epicism and magesterity.

and use words for which webster has no definitions. on LIVE TELEVISION

stun the masses, drew. Blind them with science and an ill proportioned painting of a linebacker nobody gives a shit about and a fire-maned steed

Linda said...

at some of the parts, I couldn't stop laughing at your homoerotic descriptions. You are pretty good at writing stories hinting pretty homoerotic stuff without actually sounding gay. Cheers to you and your new painting!

Man, I wish I could meet you in person. Man, so cool.
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail92.html

Anonymous said...

That is an amazing story, well told. [clap... clap... clap]

$425. That guy is out of his fucking mind.

Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

congats, you bought a stupid meme. next time just paint one yourself

Anonymous said...

While the PAULS OF LEGEND are the embodiment of humanity and virtue, I believe it holds true that out Hussie is the deity of DEDICATION.

Bobby Frye said...

IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM

this one: http://www.museumofbadart.org/

nattyish said...

If Andrew did actually donate it to the Museum of Bad Art, that would provide the most fitting capstone to this transcendent narrative.

Anonymous said...

You kidding? That thing belongs in the Louvre.

EZBSVS said...

Andrew Hussie... As it has already been said... Words simply do not do this justice... This tale of struggle and love and struggle and an epic equine battle on a majestic mountain top... I propose this epic tale of epicness be made into a moving picture of the theater type. Perhaps something with a musical?
My only question...
It was so obvious that you had such passion, such glowing desire, for this masterpiece for the centuries, how did the artist feel he had right even to mention a price tag of $425? By gravy, I would have paid YOU $425 simply for loving this painting with such intensity.
But alas... Such is the way of the world.

Andrew Hussie, I salute you.

Paul(s) I bow before your infinite graciousness at providing our source of entertainment with a source of funds necessary to purchase this source of incredible inspiration.

Viiqupaen said...

luls

IMPECCABLE TRIUMPH said...

*victory dance*

Emrys said...

Now... BE THE PONY!

Anonymous said...

You are now the Linebacker.

Jon said...

Oh my fucking god. That was brilliant. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I wish I possessed your literary gift.

Anonymous said...

2x FACEPAUL COMBO!!!
I'm sorry. That was just obligatory.

Vek Erro said...

Truly, you are a man who SKYROCKETS above ALL OTHERS; worthy of the TRANSENDANT GLORY that is to RECEIVE LEGAL TENDER from the TWIN PILLERS of MANGRIT that are MEN KNOWN AS PAUL.

Anonymous said...

"where doing it man. where making this HAPEN!"

Anonymous said...

AH: Quickly retrieve painting from mail.

Anonymous said...

I guess it could be ironic. Maybe semi ironic or even semi semi ironic. Hell, I can't even tell!

Anonymous said...

Wow, ok. I can see people have commented on this for more than two years now, and I very much understand why. ASDDVASFFD!!!
The time I didn't spend giggling I was either tearing up or being busy letting birds nest in my mouth.
This is like the best thing I have EVER read.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to add that if I was ever afraid that the author of Homestuck would not be able to handle the hugeness and complexity of the storytelling, I now feel completely safe.

Unclever title said...

My life has been enriched by this blog post of over two years ago.

The visage of Paul the Illuminated, and Paul the Scruffilent, will be with me for some time.

Seriously, this was a hilarious and oddly yet fittingly inspiring tale.

My smile only grew as I read further down the page. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

You made this HAPEN, my man. I am so proud of your work, and shall open a bottle of fine merlot to celebrate this fine occasion. Cheers, mate!

Anonymous said...

My God, FUCKING MIRACLE!!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Anonymous said...

hey
can i have a free shirt?
like, a jade one?
with the bec head?
please?
in medium?
...
I LOVE YOU ANDREW YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

holy shit hussie, are you a BRONY??
i found EVIDENCE!!

http://generalzoi.deviantart.com/art/MLP-FiM-Pony-Creator-Beta-210228500

"There are also some manes based on Homestuck characters that are marked appropriately as well."

'cause if you are, thats legit really cool.

Anonymous said...

Andrew, I have been trying to contact you for an hour. If you do not reply, I will kill you. I would like to make a business arrangement, involving you getting money. My email is gryffindork9314@gmail.com, and I would suggest creating a free gmail account, as you seem to be so conservative with your contact info.

dudefella said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dudefella said...

It's possible I'm the only person in the middle of the Venn diagram of football fans and Homestuck readers. Apparently I have been groomed for this moment for my entire life.

The Oakland Raiders are division rivals of the Denver Broncos, whose logo includes a horse-head with a flaming orange mane. Outside Mile High stadium are a bucking bronco statue in a very similar pose to this one, and (a bit farther away) the Rocky Mountains.

Bill Romanowski played six seasons with the Broncos before joining the Raiders.

That's the most sense I can make of this...

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm the one who said:
"Andrew, I have been trying to contact you for an hour. If you do not reply, I will kill you. I would like to make a business arrangement, involving you getting money. My email is gryffindork9314@gmail.com, and I would suggest creating a free gmail account, as you seem to be so conservative with your contact info."

Y U NO REPLY??? I thought you liked money, Andrew Hussie. I am saying, if I can figure out how, I can get you money. Do you just not check this? I thought you liked money. I will spam everything of yours I can and stalk you until the day I get a reply.

Waffles said...

D--> Hm. This seems like a painting I would like to buy for my respiteblock. It will go very well with all the musclebeast nudes.

Anonymous said...

Hm...
As said before, I'm having a hard time believing that this WHOLE BLOG is real. The comments are too perfectly staged....
I'm never gonna check this, so don't reply -_-
Sincerely, a Brony, Homestuck addict, RolePlayer, Weeaboo, Singer, Artist, Writer and Australian.
FMA Forever!

I said...

This story has made me believe that there truly are remarkable human beings on this godforsaken rock we call a planet, and I truly revel in your glorious and most well-deserved triumph. Well done, sir. Your Pauls are true superheroes of men, unidentifiable well-doers who live to make the lives of us undeserving beings weep with joy. Congratulations my friend. Enjoy your spoils.

Unknown said...

This read was certainly quite amazing. Even years later. xD

Anonymous said...

Wow.
In three and a half years, he went from having this much trouble raising $425 to easily accumulating $2.5 million in one month
Homestuck, you guys

Anonymous said...

425 dollars wow that's probably the most he can ever raise it's not like he can raise almost 1.5 million dollars or anything

right?

Anonymous said...

Though thoroughly moving, the tale of this encounter with the legendary twin Pauls seems slightly...incredulous.
I think you may be bullshitting us just a little bit, Hussie.

IndecisiveOlivia said...

"Dreams do come true. Your wildest wishes can happen. Magic is real. Fairytales are sobering nonfiction, and your bravest fancies are a rock-fucking-solid lock. Hold fast to your dreams and soon you will hold them over your head like the beating, dripping heart of the enemy commander."

^^ My new favorite quote of all time.

Liliac said...

So glad I decided to give that last link on the first Homestuck recap a click during my reread. I have been laughing and smiling until it hurts, hands clutched over my mouth, giggling giddily to myself for what feels like the better half of this hour now just reading this. It makes me feel really happy that we got the chill author with enough sass to sink the great Sasstanic.
Magic is indeed real, and you are a beautiful human being.

Cuber said...

And what did you do with the $30 surplus?
Wait don't tell me.... seems like just enough for a potted plant and a Ghost Dad poster

E. M said...

Good Lord... This is the kind of thing that distracts me just long enough to keep me from breaking under the pressure of my pathetic, useless existence. I love it.

WitchOfTime said...

this is magnificent :*)

Shanghai said...

I've never read a story so deep, complex, touching, and wrought with emotion and conflict. I felt your burning need for the steed. I felt the bitter tears of defeat and the sweet tears of victory. I tasted the myriad Mediterranean flavors of Olive Garden. It is 2014, nearly five years after this epic was penned, and yet its words are as fresh and poignant as they ever were. This is a tear-jerking, heartwarming tale of man and horse which will likely never be approached in scale and beauty by any work of literature, bar none. Thank you, Andrew Hussie, for bringing this into the world.

Anonymous said...

sir, respectfully as one can express this sort of sentiment, you're fucking nuts. that being said, howweverr, this is the kinda shit i stick around for. problem sleuth was exquisite, homestuck is good, and even jailbreak had its own strange sort of charm. i know you've made some really gross, hateful shit in the past, but i think you have forreal learned and are trying to be better, and thats the best anyone can do. rock on, dude.

Anonymous said...

I need to get back to wasting me life on better thing than an orange maned equus ferus.

Anonymous said...

;u;

Zephyranthes said...

Your tale beckoned me to indulge in it's tale of love, devotion, and human generosity. Andrew, you have restored my fate in humanity.

I shall one day relate this awe-inspiring story to my children, so that their dreams may be filled with epic brawls between sports stars and burning equine.

Kirina said...

So that's where all the horses came from. I was wondering... This tale certainly clarified a great deal for me.

anna! said...

the fact that comments can still be made on this amazes me? gorgeous story, 100/10 would recommend. that is no mistake in my typing, the ten people who read this story for the survey have literally multiplied themselves by ten each. there are now one hundred cloned survey people and they are all repeatedly chanting a recommendation for this story. it's captivating. pauls for president 2k16

ZeroBlade77 said...

this is the best thing i've ever read

Anonymous said...

Beautiful. Just beautiful. :')

Unknown said...

Okay...Just wow Andrew! Homestuck brough me here and now I will hold this painting as a memory in my heart forever whilst drawing endless pictures of Sollux and Nepeta~

Lulsprite said...

It Appears I Have Been Subject To The Existiental Troll Known As Irony. How Wonderful.
Let Us Now Consider Which Meme To Post.
HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU OUO

someone who is very grateful, and not even ironically. said...

i sincerely doubt andrew himself will read this, but id just like to put it here.

homestuck is almost over. as of my understanding, itll end on 4/13. thats four days from now. I wasn't here from the start, of course, but homestuck still means a fucking shit ton to me.

I took the liberty to reread it one last time before it ends (and im a little under pressure, considering it went on for 7 years and ive only just read the end of the first one. im not gonna give up though)

reading back through this horrendous webcomic has almost enlightened me in a way. SO MANY PEOPLE know and love homestuck-despite the godawful phase the fandom slapped everywhere in the 2010-2012 timeframe. i wont lie. im embarrassed to talk about homestuck in public. everyone is. its homestuck, for gods sake. and as hard to follow as it is, i wouldnt change any of it. my experience reading it is such a big part of me now, i genuinely wouldnt be who i am currently without it.

i guess what im trying to say is me rereading this right as its about to end has become very pivotal to me. ive already read it the first time, plus other reread from later points, but it feels *different*. does that make sense??? (spoilers..) for example, terezi's going back and fixing everything, i read that as it happened, i didnt see the second ??????? option one selective pages on my first readthrough. i revisited the pages as the story demanded and put in the passwords. but this time (despite my knowledge of the exact reason why the ??????? options are there) im not going to know exactly where they lead. i didnt memorize the passwords. im just going to have to read through the whole thing knowing that isnt how everything will turn out. terezis badass self will fix everything. and i know it. but im still going to experience homestuck in a different way than before, and im glad i got the privelige to visit those select pages before terezis password was to be seen. not many will have had the chance now that its already happened. im getting to experience homestuck in a completely different way, and its great.

so i leave you with three points:

1) seriously, if you do see this, thank you andrew hussie. youre an asshole and i love you
2) if youre someone who read homestuck as it updated (aka before it ended) i BEG you to reread it. homestuck is something youve GOT to read at least twice)
3) its embarrassing how much ive cried over this dumb thing all week. noone must ever know

Unknown said...

Hello every body my name is Micheal Brown a citizen of Nepal.
i am here to publish to the world how i became rich after selling my
kidney to one Doctor Williams, we met on internet and negotiated on buying one of my kidney and i accepted to donate one of my kidney for money which brought him buying one of my kidney for 300,000 dollars
and even paid me half of this amount before the operation took place here in India and the balance was given to me cash after the operation,now i am bold to say i can never be poor again in life.
Advice you to meet him on dr.williams07@hotmail.com for your dream come through once more write him via dr.williams07@hotmail.com

Unknown said...

WE NEED KIDNEY IN COIMBATORE KIDNEY HOSPITAL



We are very much in need (urgently ) of kidney now sir. we will not have enough times to be demanding for your personal information's.
Please note that we can not buy your kidney without the nkf donor certificate. Only when you have the certificate then you are eligible to sale your kidney to any hospital in India. But if you already have the living donor certificate then scan it into our email so we can proceed sir.
A kidney is bought for a maximum amount of $177.947,83 USD which 1.20.00.000,00india rupees


Contact number:+917678048924
email: coimbatorekidneycentrehospital@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Do you need to raise cash for health care costs or paying debts or in a state of financial breakdown? Wait! Consider selling your kidney as an Option. If you wish to sell your kidney today. Message us immediately.A kidney is bought for a maximum amount of $300,000.00US Dollars.The National foundation is currently buying healthy kidney.My name is Dr. Hartley, am a Nephrologist in bellevuehospitalcenter.Our Hospital is specialized in Kidney Surgery and we also deal with buying and transplantation of kidneys with a living and corresponding donor. We are located in Indian, Canada, UK,Turkey, USA, Malaysia, South Africa etc. If you are interested in selling or buying kidney’s please don’t hesitate to contact us via Email :bellevuehospitalcenter@hotmail.com or +13016583738

Anonymous said...

[S] PAULS. RISE UP.

Seriously though, this...
Wow.

If this isn't referenced in Hiveswap, I'll be shocked.

Anonymous said...

Also, why the heck did this get to be a spam base for selling kidneys?

Dr James said...


Dear Sir /Madam,

Hello ,Do you want to buy or sell your kidney for money, British kidney patient association is urgently in need for O+ve and A+ve kidney donors with any passports require. If any one is willing to donate or buy please contact us through my
Email id.(apollohospital222@gmail.com)
Dr James
Phone Number: +918892040497

Dr James said...


Dear Sir /Madam,

Hello ,Do you want to buy or sell your kidney for money, British kidney patient association is urgently in need for O+ve and A+ve kidney donors with any passports require. If any one is willing to donate or buy please contact us through my
Email id.(apollohospital222@gmail.com)
Dr James
Phone Number: +918892040497

Anonymous said...

We are urgently in need of organs donors,Call for Details Watsup:+91-7418483326
Email: donyahockett055@gmail.com
Watsup:+91-7418483326

Sherlock said...

well this was quite the ride
I can't quite recall if I read this the first time through - the beginning seems familiar, but the Pauls, I feel, I surely would have remembered more distinctly. Nonetheless, splendid.
I find it amusing that Homestuck's end brought on an onslaught of black market kidney middlemen.
no one wants to sell their kidney to some shady guy petitioning in the comments who for some fucking reason still uses goddamn hotmail

Anonymous said...

I'm Dr George Kelvin by name one of Irrua Specialist Hospital doctor, I have be given the opportunity by the hospital management to advertised on the internet how we work and that we have started again for the year for buying and selling of human organs e.g kidney, If you are out there interested in this offer, Please do not hesitate to contact the hospital at the below email: The irrua specialist hospital are specialist in organs Surgery and as a donor there is no risk in it.
And this is our email:
irruaspecialisthospital200@gmail.com

Unknown said...

OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE URGENT MONEY;

We are urgently in need of kidney

donors with the sum of $570,000.USD

Contact us now for more details on

via email; appolohospital55@gmail.com

Dr.MAX TEHRAN, appolo hospital india.

Office telephone, +91 801 589 4204.

Contact us on whatsapp, +91 741 847 8195.

Dr Williams said...

Hello everyone! please help me appreciate Dr MICHEAL OBOH ODION, who has help me cure my long HIV with herbs, I have been suffering from this for a long time, I have tried different medication but all was to no avail until I met a post like this concerning this great Herbalist who put smile on my face. Do you have any kind of cancer? are you suffering from any sickness? don't worry just contact him with this email: drmichealhomeofsolution1@gmail.com or add him on Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/odion.effdiyi he will help you out.

Anonymous said...

Do you want to sell your kidney? Are you looking for an opportunity to sell his kidney for money due to the financial break down and you do not know what to do, then contact us today at the uffure Hospital and ($ 4000000USD) We will provide for kidney .
Our hospital specializes in renal surgery and we also deal with buying and selling. The donor kidney transplant with a corresponding live. We are located in India.usa and Nigeria If you are interested in buying or selling kidneys please do not hesitate to contact us via
email: uffurehospital33@gmail.com
Waiting for your answer.
Dr. Peter Williams

Unknown said...

WE ARE URGENTLY IN NEED KIDNEY DONORS IN ASIA,OR IN ANY
PART OF THE COUNTRY WITH THE SUM OF $290,000,00. USD,
IN APPOLO HOSPITALS. CONTACT US NOW FOR MORE DETAILS.
TELEPHONE NUMBER : +91-801-589-4204,
WHAT-SUPP NUMBER; +91-7418478195..,
EMAIL; appolohospital55@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Donate your Kidney with the sum of $450,000.00 in Kokilaben Hospital,for more details:What-sup:+91-7418483326
Phone Number:+91-7418483326?
Email: customercareunitplc@gmail.com

Jay said...

Everyone wants to buy kidneys, I'ma kms.

Unknown said...

Welcome to Toronto General Hospital, Specialist hospital that buy kidney ($370,000.00 Dollars), Do you wish to sell your kidney in exchange of money? If yes, Then contact Doctor Anthony Craig today to get a reliable and good transaction for good money and for a better Surgery, Contact us Via: torontogeneralhospital@aol.com

Waiting for your responds…..
Best Regards….
Dr Anthony Craig

Dr Raymond said...

Dear Sir /Madam,

Do you want to sell your kidney? Are you seeking for an Opportunity to sell your kidney for money due to Financial Break Down and you don’t know what to do, then contact Us Today and we shall Offer you Good Amount for your Kidney. My name is Dr.Raymond. Am a Phrenologist in UBTH Specialist Hospital. Our Hospital is specialized in Kidney Surgeries and we also deal with Buying and Transplantation of kidneys with a corresponding Donor. We are Located in Spain, UK, USA, Malaysia. If you are interested in Selling or Buying Kidney’s please don’t hesitate to Contact Us Via email: (drkennethraymond@outlook.com or Adamfred24@gmail.com) you can text or call us on +18144768385

Dr Danie Ben said...

Do you want to buy a Kidney or you want to sell your kidney? Are you
seeking for an opportunity to sell your kidney for money due to
financial break down and you don’t know what to do, then contact us
today and we shall offer you good amount for your Kidney. My name is
Doctor Daniel am a Nephrologist in UBTH Medical Center. Our
clinic is specialized in Kidney Surgery and we also deal with buying
and transplantation of kidneys with a living an corresponding donor.
We are located in Indian, Turkey, Nigeria, USA, Malaysia. If you are
interested in selling or buying kidney’s please don’t hesitate to
contact us via email.

Email: Doctordanielben@gmail.com

Best Regards.
Dr Daniel.

Columbia Hospital said...

Do you need to raise cash for health care?
costs or paying debts or in a state of financial breakdown? Wait! Consider selling your kidney as an Option. If you wish to sell your kidney today. Message us immediately.
A kidney is bought for a maximum amount of $600,000.00US Dollars. The National foundation is currently buying healthy kidney. My name is Dr Jerry Mark,i am a Nephrologist in the kidney National hospital. Columbia Hospital is specialized in Kidney Surgery and we also deal with buying and transplantation of kidneys with a living an corresponding donor. We are located in Indian, Canada, UK, Turkey, USA, Malaysia, South Africa etc. If you are interested in selling or buying kidney’s please don’t hesitate to contact us via Email : columbiahospitals11@gmail.com

Need Geniune Donors
Waiting for your responds….
Mobile No:+919643062464
Best Regards
Dr Jerry Mark

dr williams said...

If you are interested in selling or buying kidney’s please don’t hesitate to contact us via Email :
columbiaasiahospital08@gmail.com

Need Geniune Donors
Waiting for your responds….
Best Regards….

Dr Williams Morgan..

Anonymous said...

We're looking for kidney donors for the sum of $450,000,00 Call or Whatsapp Dr. Donya Hockett for more details:
Mobile: 917418483326
What-sup 917418483326
Email: kokilabendhirubhaihospital@ gmail.com

Unknown said...

Hello everybody.
ESAN Hospital is looking for kidney donor in anywhere in world, so if you want to sell your kidney and be rich or to save someone life please kindly contact us for more details as we are ready to offer you big amount of 2 cores 85 Lakhs without any stress, So this is your opportunity for you to sell your kidney for money: Please contact +918867413844 or email: pramodtransplant7@gmail.com


Best regard
Dr Pramod

Unknown said...

Greeting from Columbia Asia HOSPITAL urgently contact Davis Morgan. As we have a lot of patients who are here for kidney transplant, Are you seeking for an opportunity to sell your kidney for money due to financial break down and we shall offer you $800,000 USD for your Kidney. My name is Doctor Davis Morgan, i am a Nephrology in India Surgical Hospital. Our hospital is specialized in Kidney Surgery/transplant and other organ treatment, we also deal with buying and transplantation of kidneys with a living and healthy donor. We are located in India, Canada, UK, Turkey, USA, Malaysia, South Africa etc. If you are interested in selling your kidney please don’t hesitate to contact us via Email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com

Need Geniune Donors
Waiting for your responds….
Best Regards
Dr Davis Morgan
Contact: +91-8867088921

Anonymous said...

Do you want to sell your Kidney? We are here to help you with good money to do anything you wish, Contact us if you are interested in selling your kidney.
email: drmichealvarghes@gmail.com
Dr. Micheal Varghese.
Phone: +91-7259836206
WhatsApp:+91-7259836206

Anonymous said...

what are you people doing with all these organs

Unknown said...

Do you want to buy a Kidney or you want to sell your kidney? Are you
seeking for an opportunity to sell your kidney for money due to
financial break down and you don’t know what to do, then contact us
today and we shall offer you good amount for your Kidney. My name is
Doctor Simon Thompson am a Nephrologist in UBTH Medical Center. Our
clinic is specialized in Kidney Surgery and we also deal with buying
and transplantation of kidneys with a living and corresponding donor.
We are located in India, Turkey, Nigeria, USA, Malaysia, canada, south Africa, Germany, etc If you are
interested in selling or buying kidney’s please don’t hesitate to
contact us via
Email: dr_thompson@yahoo.com


Best Regards.
Dr Simon Thompson.

Dr Nico Scott said...

Welcome to Apollo Hospital, Specialist hospital that buy kidney.
Do you wish to sell your kidney in exchange of money? If yes.
Then contact today to get a reliable and good transaction for good money.
Contact via below information
email: apollohospitalkidneydep@gmail.com
call me @ +918122208392
WhatsApp number: +919004558395

ROSE MILL said...

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Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve.
Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646

Anonymous said...

You are interested in selling your kidney to overcome all your financial problems, Welcome to the Pyramid Medical Center. We provide free international assistance to patients without obligations to find world-class treatment worldwide. We specialize in first-class medical treatment, such as cardiac surgery, cancer treatment, spine surgery, gastrectomy surgery, sleeves and other major surgeries. The Pyramid Medical Center offers unrivaled value and quality benefits because it has hospitals and world-class surgeons who have been trained in all specialties around the world. Regardless of whether you are considering an operation to replace a disk on the cervical disk, brain tumor surgery, heart valve replacement surgery or prostate cancer treatment, we offer support and services to provide the services you need. We can help you find the best heart hospital, IVF hospital or the best hospital for cancer treatment. Contact us through: pyramidmedicalcenter@gmail.com
Good luck

After you decide, we will help you make appointments, and our medical center will finance all necessary accounts, except for the donor registration that will be ordered by you. Good luck to you.

+2349054872932
PYRAMID MEDICAL CENTER

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve.
Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646

Anonymous said...

Donate your kidnney body for money contact us now. The amount is $450,000.00.
Dr. Michael Varghese.
call number: +919500703584
WhatsApp: +919500703584

osma said...

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My name is Ahmad Asnul Brunei, I contacted Mr Osman Loan Firm for a business loan amount of $250,000, Then i was told about the step of approving my requested loan amount, after taking the risk again because i was so much desperate of setting up a business to my greatest surprise, the loan amount was credited to my bank account within 24 banking hours without any stress of getting my loan. I was surprise because i was first fall a victim of scam! If you are interested of securing any loan amount & you are located in any country, I'll advise you can contact Mr Osman Loan Firm via email osmanloanserves@gmail.com

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Dr Raymond said...

Do you want to buy a Kidney or you want to sell your kidney?
Are you seeking for an opportunity to sell your kidney for money due to financial break down and you don’t know what to do, then contact us today and we shall offer you good amount of money for your Kidney. My name is Doctor Raymond am a Nephrologist in UBTH clinic hospital. Our clinic is specialized in Kidney Surgery and we also deal with buying and transplantation of kidneys with a living an corresponding donor. We are located in Indian, Turkey, Nigeria, USA, Malaysia and UK. If you are interested in selling or buying kidney’s please don’t hesitate to contact us via email. Email: drkennethraymond@gmail.com or drkennethraymond@outlook.com (Adamfred24@gmail.com)
we await your urgent response
drkennethr Best Regards Dr Raymond.

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646

Unknown said...

This is to inform the general public Male or Female who are healthy and %100 serious in selling their kidney should urgently contact Artemis Hospital. As we have a lot of patients who are here for kidney transplant, A kidney is bought $800,000 00 USD. My name is Doctor Davis Mall, i am a Nephrologist in India Artemis Surgical Hospital. Our hospital specialized in Kidney Surgery/transplant and other organ treatment, we also deal with buying and transplantation of kidneys with a living and healthy donor. We are located in India. If you are interested in selling your kidney please don’t hesitate to contact us via Email: artemishospital24hr@gmail.com

sincere and truthful.
+919047411926
Dr Davis Mall

Miss lummom said...

Thanks for your mail,

You are welcome to UBTH Hospital Kidney Department,Here you
will get the maximum satisfaction you need and your
satisfaction is our priority. I also want to use this opportunity to
introduce myself, My name is Dr Collins, I am the representative
Doctor of the above specialist here we are specialize in kidney
transplantation and treatment of all manner of sickness and diseases.

I want you to know that you are In the right place where you can
sell your kidney okay.

We give you our uppermost assurance that you will not it null avoid
by taking a bold step to our offer okay.

But firstly before we can proceed further you have to provide your
personal information and you are to make sure that the personal
details is filled appropriate and correctly okay.

PERSONAL DETAILS NEEDED

Parental/guardian full names:
Name:
Age:
Sex:
Date of Birth:
Telephone Number:
Profession/Occupation:
Language:
Monthly Income:
Relationship:
Reason for selling:
Blood Group:
Genotype:
Amount You want to sell your kidney:
Country:
State:
Email Address:
Next of Kin:

We hope to hear from you as soon as you received this mail okay.
UBTH Hospital Kidney Department

Anonymous said...

We are urgently in need of kidney donors in Kokilaben Hospital India for the sum of $450,000,00,All donors are to reply via Email only Email: kolilabenhospital@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Perhaps T would like to sell his kidney. He certainly isn't going to make any more money on painting.

pramodtransplant7@gmail.com said...

Hello everybody.
MANIPAL Hospital is looking for kidney donor so if you want to sell your kidney and be rich and to save someone life please kindly contact us for more details as we are ready to offer you big amount of 2 crores 85 lakhs without any stress, So this is your opportunity for you to sell your kidney for money: please contact +918867413844 or email pramodtransplant7@gmail.com

Best regard
Dr Pramod



Unknown said...

Do you need to raise cash for health care costs or paying debts or in a state of financial breakdown? Wait! Consider selling your kidney as an Option. If you wish to sell your kidney today. Message us immediately.A kidney is bought for a maximum amount of $800,000.00, US Dollars.The National foundation is currently buying healthy kidney.My name is Dr Davis Mall, I'm a Nephrologist in the kidney National hospital.Our Hospital is specialized in Kidney Surgery and we also deal with buying and transplantation of kidneys with a living an corresponding donor. We are located in Indian, Canada, UK, Turkey, USA, Malaysia, South Africa etc If you are interested in selling or buying kidney’s please don’t hesitate to contact us via Email : artemishospital24hr@gmail.com
Need Genuine Donors.
Waiting for your responds…..
Best Regards….
Dr Davis Mall
+918506961342

Unknown said...

Do you need to raise cash for health care costs or paying debts or in a state of financial breakdown? Wait! Consider selling your kidney as an Option. If you wish to sell your kidney today. Message us immediately.A kidney is bought for a maximum amount of $800,000.00, US Dollars.The National foundation is currently buying healthy kidney.My name is Dr Davis Mall, I'm a Nephrologist in the kidney National hospital.Our Hospital is specialized in Kidney Surgery and we also deal with buying and transplantation of kidneys with a living an corresponding donor. We are located in Indian, Canada, UK, Turkey, USA, Malaysia, South Africa etc If you are interested in selling or buying kidney’s please don’t hesitate to contact us via Email : artemishospital24hr@gmail.com
Need Genuine Donors.
Waiting for your responds…..
Best Regards….
Dr Davis Mall
+918506961342

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646
WhatsApp: +91-9791950646

Unknown said...

This is to inform the general public Male or Female who are healthy and 100% serious in selling kidney should urgently contact SPECIALIST NEPHROLOGIST TRANSPLANT HOSPITAL. As we have a lot of patients who are here for kidney transplant, Are you seeking for an opportunity to sell your kidney for money due to financial break down and we shall offer you $220,000.00 USD for your Kidney. My name is Doctor James Francis, i am a Nephrology in Ghana Surgical Hospital. Our hospital is specialized in Kidney Surgery/transplant and other organ treatment, we also deal with buying and transplantation of kidneys with a living and healthy donor.We are located in Ghana. If you are interested in selling kidney please don’t hesitate to contact us via : Email: (fjames076@gmail.com) Phone : +233260941872 Please Note: Internet there are a lot of people with different motive, So Please be sincere and truthful we are not kid, this is about saving lives of others.Fraudulent is not accepted please. Best Regards. Dr.James Francis

Anonymous said...

We are urgently in need of kidney donors in Kokilaben Hospital India for the sum of $450,000,00,For more info
Email: kokilabendhirubhaihospital@gmail.com
WhatsApp +91 7795833215

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646
WhatsApp: +91-9791950646

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646
WhatsApp: +91-9791950646

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646
WhatsApp: +91-9791950646

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646
WhatsApp: +91-9791950646

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Apollo Hospital said...


We are urgently in need of kidney donor in a very good health condition for the sum of $470,000,00 and we will take properly care of the donor doling the whole process, here you can contact us via email address: ahospital661@gmail.com or phone number-+919677345881 by name Dr Donald Moore.

Unknown said...

Dear Sir /Madam,
Hello , Are you interested to selling one of your kidney for a good amount of {$800.000USD} in India pls kindly Contact us now on our email: columbiaasiahospital9@gmail.com as we are looking for kidney donor, Very urgently who are group B,group A ,O+ve and 0+ve. Interested Donor should contact us now.

Best Regards:
Dr. Davis Morgan
Columbia Asia Hospital
Phone:+91-9791950646
WhatsApp: +91-9791950646

Anonymous said...

HOW MANY FUCKING KIDNEYS DO YOU ASSHOLES NEED!? LEAVE THIS BLOG IN PEACE, YOU SCURRILOUS SCAMMERS!

Unknown said...

Do you want to buy or sell your kidney for money, we are urgently in need for O+ve and A+ve kidney donors with any passports require. If any one is willing to donate or buy please contact us .
Dr. Micheal Varghese.
Email: drmichealvarghes@gmail.com
call number: +919500703584
WhatsApp: +919500703584

Anonymous said...

We are urgently in need of kidney donors for the sum of $450,000 USD,
for more details:
Dr. Micheal Varghese
Email: drmichealvarghes@gmail.com
call number: +919500703584
WhatsApp: +919500703584

Unknown said...

We are urgently in need of KlDNEY donors for the sum of $500,000.00 USD,(3 CRORE INDIA RUPEES) All donors are to reply via Email only: donyahockett055@gmail.com

Apollo Hospital said...

We are urgently in need of kidney donor in a very good health condition for the sum of $420,000,00 and we will take properly care of the donor doling the whole process, here you can contact us via email address: ahospital661@gmail.com or chat me on whatsApp with this number+919677345881 or call this number+917028313517. by name Dr Donald

Apollo Hospital said...

We are urgently in need of kidney donor in a very good health condition for the sum of $420,000,00 and we will take properly care of the donor doling the whole process, here you can contact us via email address: ahospital661@gmail.com or chat me on whatsApp with this number+919677345881 or call this number+917028313517. by name Dr Donald

Jade said...

yielding:

- 1 POTTED PLANT
- 1 PAINTING OF A HORSE ATTACKING A FOOTBALL PLAYER
- 1 CLEAN COSBY POSTER

SUCCESS.
> John: Combine Cosby poster with computer.

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a complete idiot said...

I don't know if I'm a dumbass who hasn't gotten the memo or something, but I can't see any of the images of this tale and I'm fucking depressed. Sorry, father, I was too immature when I started reading Homestuck in 2014 at the ripe age of fourteen. I didn't even read it, I just skipped most of the text to see the [S] panels. Is this the price I pay for being an absolute idiot? I'm nineteen now and once and for all I actually understand what the fuck is going on in Homestuck because I stopped being an incompetent dipshit and sat down with the intention of consuming the story as it was meant to be consumed. For what it's worth, this is a masterpiece, Andrew. Not only the kickstarter; all of it. If I hadn't been a complete idiot at fourteen I could've actually realized that sooner and perhaps participate in the community back when it was alive. You don't have to re-activate the pictures or whatever. I know you most probably won't read this, sorry for being stupid. It sucks the comments on this are kind of a complete clusterfuck of spam.

Anonymous said...

When you make a joke about selling kidneys and the algorithm thinks you're sincerely interested.

Doctor david mike said...

Esto es para informar al público en general Masculino o Femenino que está sano y 100% serio en la compra o venta de riñones. Debe comunicarse urgentemente con Nathan Kidney HOSPITAL DE TRASPLANTES. Como tenemos muchos pacientes que están aquí para un trasplante de riñón, ¿está buscando una oportunidad para vender uno de sus riñones por dinero debido a una crisis financiera y le ofreceremos $ 500,000.00 USD por su riñón? Mi nombre es Doctor David Mike, soy Nefrología en Nathan Kidney HOSPITAL DE TRASPLANTES. Nuestro hospital está especializado en cirugía / trasplante de riñón y otros tratamientos de órganos, también nos ocupamos de la compra y el trasplante de riñones con un donante vivo y saludable. Estamos ubicados en India. Nigeria, Emiratos Árabes Unidos, EE. UU. Y todas las partes del país. Si está interesado en comprar o vender riñones, no dude en contactarnos por correo electrónico:
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Nota: en Internet hay muchas personas con motivos diferentes, así que, por favor, sean sinceros y sinceros, no somos niños, se trata de salvar vidas de otros. No se acepta el fraude por favor. Atentamente

Laurie Hughes said...

I am very much happy to share to every viewers that is reading this,I want to inform the whole public of how I got help for my herpes, I wanted this since 6 months ago, I have also taken treatment from some doctor,few weeks back I came on the net to see if I will be able to get any information as to cure my herpes, on my search I saw various testimony of people who was helped by a great man called Dr Akhigbe and without any hesitation, I contacted him, I wrote to him and and he guided me, I asked him for solutions and he started the remedies for me and indeed 3 weeks after I started using the medicine, I was completely happy as it worked for me.I went to the hospital for check up and indeed I was declared negative from my disease, and I also waited again for two weeks and went back to another hospital for check up to be fully sure and to my great surprise I was still declared negative, and I decided to share this great opportunity to those people out there fighting this sickness, You can contact him now for your medicine to cure your diseases, contact his Email; drrealakhigbe@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348142454860.   website. hpps:drrealakhigbe.weebly.com
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Herpes
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contact him for your solution.

Joyce Hillary said...

Hello everyone, i'm Linda Harry from United State i was diagnosed with Parkinson Disease  for over 6 years which made me loose my job and my relationship with my Fiance after he discovered that i was having Parkinson, he departed from me, and i tried all my best to make him stays, but he neglected me until a friend of mine  from UK told me Great healer, who will restore my life back with his powerful healing herbal medicine. then he  sent me his email address to contact him- drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com. and i quickly contacted him, and he said my condition can be solved, that he will treat the disease immediately only if i can accept trust on him and accept his terms and condition, i Agreed because i was so much in need of help by all means, so i did all he instructed me to do. And surprisingly after two weeks, He sent me a text, that i should hurry up to the hospital for a checkup, which i truly did, i confirm from my doctor that i am now ( PARKINSON NEGATIVE) my eyes filled with tears and joy, crying heavily because truly the disease deprived me of many things from my life, This is a Miracle, dr imoloa also uses his powerful herbal medicine to cure the following diseases:  lupus disease,  mouth ulcer,  mouth cancer, body pain, fever, hepatitis A.B.C.,   syphilis,  diarrhea,  HIV/AIDS,  Huntington's Disease,   back acne,  Chronic renal failure,   addison disease,  Chronic Pain,   Crohn's Disease,   Cystic Fibrosis,  Fibromyalgia,   Inflammatory Bowel Disease,  fungal nail disease, Lyme Disease, Celia disease, Lymphoma, Major Depression,  Malignant Melanoma,   Mania,  Melorheostosis,   Meniere's Disease,  Mucopolysaccharidosis , Multiple Sclerosis,  Muscular Dystrophy,  Rheumatoid Arthritis, Alzheimer's Disease, parkison disease, vaginal cancer, epilepsy,  Anxiety Disorders, Autoimmune Disease,   Back Pain,  Back Sprain,   Bipolar Disorder,  Brain Tumour,  Malignant,   Bruxism, Bulimia,  Cervical Disk Disease, cardiovascular disease, Neoplasms, chronic respiratory disease,  mental and behavioural disorder,     Cystic Fibrosis,   Hypertension, Diabetes, asthma,  Inflammatory autoimmune-mediated arthritis.  chronic kidney disease, inflammatory joint disease,  impotence,  feta alcohol spectrum,  Dysthymic Disorder,   Eczema, tuberculosis,  Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, constipation, inflammatory bowel disease, bone cancer, lung cancer. contact him on email- drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com. and also on whatssap- +2347081986098

Unknown said...

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Dr. Smith said...

We are urgently in need of kidney donors in Fortis Hospital India for the sum of $850,000.00 USD (7Crores 60Lahks). For more details contact us via the below
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Dr Nico Scott said...

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Anonymous said...

Kidneyn't

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Nothing. That's what. Oh how I have tried to sell it. I have offered it at every price. Over the years I have lowered its cost to well under one hundred dollars and still no one will take it. I have half a mind to break it over my head in a fit of rage. Three quarters of a mind even. But if I waste this opportunity then I killed my own father for nothing. His specter haunts me to this day and I fear the only way to be rid of him is to rid myself of the painting. The terrible, terrible painting.

Thanks and look forward to your prompt reply.
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Lisa Kenneth said...

I'm 57 years old and female. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with COPD and I was beyond scared! My lung function test indicated 49% capacity. After having had flu a year ago, the shortness of breath, coughing and chest pains continued even after being treated with antibiotics. I've been smoking two packs a day for 36 years. Being born without a sternum caused my ribs to be curled in just one inch away from my spine, resulting to underdeveloped lungs. At age 34 I had surgery and it was fixed. Unfortunately my smoking just caused more damage to my already under developed lungs. The problem was having is that I enjoy smoking and don't want to give up! Have tried twice before and nearly went crazy and don't want to go through that again. I saw the fear in my husband and children's eyes when I told them about my condition then they start to find solution on their own to help my condition.I am an 57 now who was diagnose COPD emphysema which I know was from my years of smoking. I started smoking in school when smoking was socially acceptable. I remember when smoking was permitted in hospitals. It was not known then how dangerous cigarettes were for us, and it seemed everybody smoked but i was able to get rid of my COPD lung condition through the help of  Dr Akhigbe   total cure herbal medicine. my husband saw his testimony on the internet he used his powerful medicine to cured different diseases. we contacted his email   [drrealakhigbe@gmail.com}   He has the right herbal formula to help you get rid and repair any lung conditions and others diseases, will cure you totally and permanently with his natural organic herbs,We received the medicine through courier delivery service. I wish anybody who starts smoking at a young age would realize what will eventually happen to their bodies if they continue that vile habit throughout their life.
Dr Akhighe also cured diseases like, HERPES, DIABETES, HIV/AIDS, COPD, CANCER,ASTHMA,STROKE,LUPUS,JOINT PAIN,CHRONIC DISEASES,PARKINSON DISEASES,TUBERCULOSIS,HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE,BREAST INFECTION,WOMEN SEXUAL PROBLEM, GINGIVITIS, ERYSIPELAS,STAPHYLOCOCCUS,HEPATITIS A/B, QUICK EJACULATION, IMMUNOTHERAPY, GONORRHEA,SYPHILIS,WAST/BACK PAIN,PELVIC INFLAMMATORY, DICK ENLARGEMENT,HEART DISEASES,TERMINAL ILLNESS,SHIFT IN FOCUS,ATAXIA,COMMON COLD,CROHN'S DISEASES,ALCOHOL SPECTRUM DISORDER,GRAVES DISEASE,HEARING LOSS, INTERSTITIA CYSTITIS,LEUKEMIA,MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS,OBESITY,RABIES,SCOLIOSIS,INFLUENZA, POLIO,JACOB,ETC. If you are out there looking for your cure please  contact  dr Akhigbe  by his email    drrealakhigbe@gmail.com     or contact his whatsapp number   +2349010754824
God bless you Dr Akhigbe for your good hand work on my life.

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Florence charlott said...

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Anonymous said...

been reading through homestuck and stumbled upon this page when hussie was recapping the stuff, all of the pngs or whatever they're called are basically broken now and the comment section is full of bots lol.

Anonymous said...

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